7 Practical Steps To A Stable Marriage - What Couples Need To Know

By Vitus Ejiogu 

Today's marriages are far from what God that they should be. So many people swear "I Do" on daily basis without first knowing that commitment and trust are part of the ingredients for a healthy marriage. Those who are into marriage already are settling their matters in the wrong ways. Our courts today are filled with divorce suits and counter suits. Knowing the ways to weather the storms of your marriage can save you the stress of fighting a useless battle with your spouse. In weathering the storms of marriage, there are steps people are expected to follow which may include the following:

Communication. When couples approach challenges with open communication when there are issues that are really troubling them, they are sure to get positive results. Talk with each other in a relaxed setting, sharing each other's concerns, fears and hopes without criticizing or judging helps to build a healthy relationship.
Affection. Making it a point to tell each other "I love you" especially when you are in the middle of something awful, helps to calm a tensed nerve. Awful periods are the worst times to assume that your mate knows how you feel. It's during the tough times that your partner needs the reassurance of your love even more.

Positive Mindset. Cultivating a positive and thankful mindset is one of the best ways to appreciate your spouse's good qualities. Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, that no matter what the situation, there's always something to be thankful for. When you have a positive focus about your relationship with your spouse rather than dwelling on his or her shortcomings, things will be better for you.

Plan. I have heard it a number of times that "he who does not plan, plans to fail". When as a couple, you carve out time in your schedule, several times a week; to be alone and getaway from whatever is causing you stress, you will succeed with time in keeping a healthy relationship. I have couples who enjoy taking a walk together, going out to dinner, and having a picnic at the park. This does not just happen, but comes as a result of proper planning. If you do not understand your mate, it will be impossible to know when he or she is free to enjoy such a good time as that. A man complained to me the other day that he cannot possibly make his wife happy, and it was becoming very impossible for him to satisfy her. He told me that when he got up one day to have a quiet breakfast in bed with his wife before leaving for the office, that he got the shock of his life because his wife did not honour the invitation. One thing with people is that when they learn a new thing, they will be so eager to see it work out for them as a rule. If your family has not been following a method for a long time, introducing it will take a gradual process - nothing just happens so easily. Marriage requires planning.
Prayer. The Bible tells us that the family that prays together stays together. Staying together in prayer helps you to bring the things that cause you stress before God. It requires asking Him to help you discern what to do to ease the stress in your lives and to help you stay committed to your marriage. When you pray together, you let God into your family needs.

Counsel. Seeking counsel as a couple also helps you have the professional advice you may need to stay through to accomplishment (Proverbs 13:20). Depending on the problem, help might come from your pastor, a professional marriage and family counselor, or a financial adviser. As soon as problems start coming into your marital life, it is advisable to go for counseling, rather than wait until they become breaking points.

Watch. In marriage, both the man and the woman are posted as a "watchman". Their duty is to make sure that no stranger takes advantage of the other person's ignorance to plunder the home. The duty of the couples as "watchmen" in the home-front helps them to see challenges as opportunities to strengthen their marriage.

Proper understanding of certain situations (rough spots) in your marriage can actually help in bringing the two of you closer. When you take time to watch over your marriage, you will discover that we are certainly living in a stressful world and that our lives are full of challenges. At this time, what is important is that you learn to support each other during the tough times, rather than allow life's difficulties to pull you apart!

Vitus Ejiogu is a writer and publisher with the Fire-Brand Int"l Ministries, a media ministry that is based in Nigeria.

He is the editor of FOUNDATION SATELLITE magazine also published by the ministry. He pastors a Church in Bauchi and is married with two children.

You can reach him at: firebrandhq@yahoo.com or: 234 80 8181 829.
Websites: http://businessunit.blogspot.com, http://azepanig.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vitus_Ejiogu

 

Why Women Won't Make It To Heaven - A Wrong Perception of Womanhood

By Vitus Ejiogu 

Recently I stumbled into a collection of stories by Dul Johnson, a film scriptwriter and director with many screen credits. The book, though outrageously funny and very provocative in context, contains finely crafted short stories that provoke its readers' interest. As I went through its pages line after line, I discovered some amazing things that underlie the author's choice of the topic. The grouse of the author is that women take so much time in dressing themselves up, and as a result, may dress themselves up to hell!

It should be noted that women all over the world are known with high dressings, especially during occasions. In most cases, they put up unnecessary delays that keep the men waiting. Apart from the ugly side of their actions which is delay, I have come to appreciate women for who they are. I have severally been saved from dangers as a result of a woman's delay. There are so many costly mistakes I could have made in life if not that a woman came in-between with an "unnecessary" delay. Women have a way of communicating with the future and bring back results to the present.

Men are always quick and in a hurry to jump to serious issues. Women are truly the direct opposite. They are careful, considerate and humane. God proved to us that He truly understands life more than we do. Of course, He is the Creator and Maker of all things. He knows that combining both man and woman, keeps the world going right. You can imagine bringing together two distinct personalities and blending them to become "one flesh". This is why the home front remains a target for Satan, who always struggles to mock God, yet without success.

The Bible tells us that the person who stays alone has a greater trouble because when he falls, there would be none to help him up. Marriage is what completes a man. It brings balance in a man's life and as a result, every woman's action in the home stands to be appreciated. There is a niche for the woman to fulfill. When we begin to enumerate the troubles women have saved men from by simply being themselves as wives, we would not truly see their actions as being unnecessary.

It is obvious that women like looking good, it is also like that with the men. Everybody likes looking good, because it is the way you dress that people address you. Even though women take so much time to dress themselves up, there is no point raising an alarm. God Himself took so much time in making the first woman (Eve) before presenting her to Adam as wife. You can imagine how Adam felt as he sighted the woman. When I took time to study certain things about women, I concluded that their delays in dressing themselves up may not truly hand to them an express ticket to hell. I understand that being spotless has nothing to do with physical beauty, yet what happens if we turn to behold women in their unnatural ways?

Women who dress modestly are actually sending a good message. When a woman takes time to dress, God is honoured, but when men hurry their wives up in dressing, they end up in the streets naked. Because everyone today is in a hurry, almost everything has turned awry. Our streets today are inundated with naked and shabbily dressed women. Reason? They were not allowed to take their time! And because when abomination stays with people for too long, it becomes a tradition, today's society has copied so many things that came as a result of other people's mistakes.

Notwithstanding, God is always interested in the heart, not in physical appearances. Most people will not actually make it to heaven when mundane things take the place of spiritual matters in their lives. That does not wish way the woman's natural life. It is incorrect and totally unacceptable when people fail to applaud the important roles women play in society, in their works of art. We should not see them as people who always confused in matters of choice - what to eat, wear, or look like. It is obvious that women will actually make it to heaven before some men who see them today as unfit. Only time will tell!

Vitus Ejiogu is a writer and publisher with the Fire-Brand Int"l Ministries, a media ministry that is based in Nigeria.

He is the editor of FOUNDATION SATELLITE magazine also published by the ministry. He pastors a Church in Bauchi and is married with children.

You can reach him at: firebrandhq@yahoo.com
or, 234 802 8181 829. Website: http://businessunit.blogspot.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Vitus_Ejiogu